In Process....

Calmness in my behavior and expressions is one of the many traits that I don't possess. My friends and those who know me well have mastered the art of dealing with my not so calm self. I feel that as I'm growing older it is silently sneaking in, but still it is one art that I have to master. To look calm and more importantly to be calm. In past I have lost the handle for so many wrong reasons and even if I was right on occasions it still doesn't seem to be appropriate to loose the cool. You are getting old buddy, this is what I hear whenever I talk like this with my old buddies. Does it come via process of maturing or it is something that you have in it you always? As I have seen people lot younger to me behaving in a very calm (or mature) way to a sitiuation where I would have jumped the gun from the word go....so it doesn't seem to be age only...so I wonder where did I miss it...If I look at my childhood I was an hyper-expressive, hyper-active kid...In my teenage I was the same...in my early twenties it was again the same story...its only now that the hyper part of it is gone but expressive and active is still there, where active is good but not expressive.
Now I enjoy it more when I'm calm and serene...and its no surprise that I'm more likeable in that way (to me and to others)...but still there are times when I can't control it...and those are the times that make me feel bad afterwords....though the number of those time have gone down quite a bit...but still its there....but I'm sure I'll take over those times as well....and I'm positive about it....no aggression here just a calm promise to myself to make myself a better person.